Sorry if you wanted me to keep all those depressing and aggressive blogs. Maybe I didn't catch them all yet. I initially thought since it was a diary of a sad man, it should have sad entries. But looking back, I think it was a mistake to be sad.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

In keeping with diary format, this blog has no titles on its entries. Make sure to buy a bottle of Crazy Glue along with those $14.00 shoes for when they split wide open down the back of the heel.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Rules for Snuggling

The rules for snuggling are as follows: 1) For adult males, snuggling with eight-year-olds must be kept at a distance and no cameras from The National Enquirer are allowed. 2) Cold kneecaps are also expressly forbidden. Warm them with your hands first if necessary. My belly is not a kneecap warmer. And frankly, using me like that is a good way to give me a cold. 3) No chewing gum. It is too loud and echoey. Also, be sure to wash the Deep Heat ointment from your hands before you change your underwear or you may be in for the shock of your life.
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© 2007, 2012. Some text missing from this post. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

I was in over my head a little with this entry. Sorry.

It's a good thing they flash the studio name across the screen at the beginning of a movie. It lets you know what to expect. MGM movies, for instance, have a lot of scenes. Paramount pictures have plots that tend to build up to a climax near the end. And the stories in Universal films are almost always situated around a central character.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

To the people of my region, sorry for that sleet yesterday. I was in a bad mood. I promise I'll get you some sunshine by no later than April. Someone was asking why the bass disappears near the end of Preteen Queen. That's the sound of you coming between me and my preteen queen. And the harmony disappears by the second verse. That's the sound of you coming between me and my preteen queen. By the songs end, you've blocked out the music altogether. Way to go. William Burroughs had a theory that Europeans are a mutant race. The Ice Age, which hit Europe the hardest, could have been caused by radioactive fallout from a huge meteor collision. Mutants always want to take over everything - like a cancer cell. These people minding their own business look out to the harbour one day and see an approaching boatload of Europeans who have sailed thousands of miles to destroy and enslave. I mean India was enough for the Indians. And America was enough for its native people. And Africa was enough for the Africans. But Europe wasn't enough for the Europeans. We're lucky most of their bloody wars have been against each other for the last thousand years or so.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Soylent but Deadly I watched the sci-fi classic Soylent Green for the first time the other day. It's about the not-too-distant future. In about ten years time, New York City will become horribly crowded. You won't be able to set foot outside without accidentally stepping on a homeless person. Homeless people will cover the sidewalks and stairwells. But if you can manage to climb over them into an apartment, you'll have the whole place to yourself. Beautiful chicks will lounge around, smoking dope and playing video games, while everyone else is killing each other over a crust of bread. I could have told the writers that one. And the reason why we'll get so overpopulated is because we're not making enough food products out of people. Soylent Green is not enough. It should have a sauce. And what about dessert? We need to start stepping up production on these kinds of food products today or we're in trouble.
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© 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.