Thursday, September 8, 2011

Old School English

No one speaks English right any more, like they used to back in the 19th century. This must be the influence of television shows that are not about the Old West.

The word like should never begin a sentence. It should only end a sentence. It's not 'Like this guy is stupid', it's 'This guy is stupid like.'

You should never say trying to when you can say fixing on in its place.

A useful contraction that can double for is not and am not is ain't.

And we seem to have dropped the prefix a- from several important verbs. It's not 'She's going to the store', it's She's a-going to the store. Sheer laziness.

And what do you mean when you tell me you're afraid? Don't you mean afeared?

I'm afeared I ain't a-going to understand no one till they start fixing on speaking English proper like.

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© 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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