After prolonged fighting I can declare with confidence that today is VBB Day. (Last Thursday was VC Day.) They say it's hard to eliminate such problems, but the tools are there. All you need is a strong will. Being determined means not doing it half-assed. Don't just spray the can in the middle of the room and leave. Spread out your clothes and spray them, then fold them and put them in an airtight poisoned plastic tub. Replace your bedding and spray it. Replace your mattress with something less hospitable to eggs. Spray down the carpet, especially along the edges. Get the curtains. Adopt a propaganda slogan to keep you motivated. Mine was 'Two legs good, six legs bad!' Keep fighting until you prevail.
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It is time to put Phase Two into operation. Phase Two is a kind of spraying up operation. Now that the enemy's ranks are weakened and decimated by the poison dust, I must strike out on all fronts with my potent nerve gas. In order to avoid suffering the effects of this gas and making my guitar playing even worse than it already is, I must vacate my room for several hours after Phase Two. This stubborn foe reminds me of World War Two. When the enemy refuses to surrender, they force you to use unconventional weapons. Of course, I could merely be influenced by all those History Channel documentaries.
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The D.S. Show/August 23, 2011 Me: Tonight we have a very special guest for you here on The David Skerkowski Show: Give it up for The Littlest Hobo everybody, the smartest German Shepherd in the world! (Audience cheers. Enter London, he jumps up on the guest chair and I sit down at my desk.) Me: Now, London, it is the day before Welfare Day and I had to stand in line behind someone who read my blog and disagreed with some of it. Would you say that I'm going through an unbearable time right now? Of course, one bark means 'yes' and two barks means 'no'. London: Woof! Me: This fellow derived from my suggestion that his decision to start smoking at age seventeen was out of the common adolescent desire to appear 'grown up' that we use God and the Devil to blame our hardships on. Would you call that an untenable leap? London: Woof! Me: And don't you think it's foolish for such persons to think they could handle having a popular blog of their own when they can't even read someone else's work without getting all stressed out? London: Woof! Me: As for blame, if we are going to blame our hardships on God and the Devil, wouldn't we also blame the good things that happen to us on God and the Devil? And doesn't that make blaming anything on them rather pointless? London: Woof! Me: And since God is so far over our heads that we have been instructed to receive his Kingdom as mere children, do you think I am wasting my time by trying to argue his existence? London: Woof! Woof! Me: No? Is that because it helps to bring faith in God up to date with a more educated and sophisticated population? London: Woof! Me: I see. Well, the bottom line for me is that my relationship with God is personal. I don't push others to accept my faith, and I sure wish they would cut me some slack for my personal life experience. Does that sound fair? London: Woof! Me: Well this has been a most enlightening interview! Let's hear it for The Littlest Hobo, everyone! (Audience cheers.) Now it's time for an important message from the good people of Kibbles and Bits, but when we return, London is going to join me on the musical stage with his bass guitar to jam out my latest new song for you. Did you think Jimi Hendrix was the only guitarist who could play with his teeth? Think again!
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Chickootamie It's too bad I can't build a city out of all my beautiful imaginary girl fans and go live there. We could call it Chickootamie. We could have a newspaper, The Chickootmamie Chicklet. We could build a money-free paradise, as long as we have a lot of police chicks to keep everyone going to their jobs. When the population reached one million chicks, all smacking gum and happily serving their benevolent overlord, I could stage a massive concert. Just need a few girl fans to stop by my place with their shovels and pick axes to get it started. Girl heavy equipment operators would also be helpful. (And so forth, as I already described.)
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